There are two things that rank high on the newlywed stress list--mothers-in-law and thank you notes. Sorry to say, there is no instant cure-all for dealing with the other woman in your life. But here are some easy tips for getting those dreaded thank you notes out of your hair.
Giving Thanks: The Basics
* Thank yous must be sent to everybody who
gives you a gift. No exceptions to this rule. Remember: this may be
the only way the gift-giver knows you actually received the gift, so
not only is writing a note the nice thing to do, it's the right thing
to do. Telephone calls don't cut it.
* Traditionally, wedding thank you notes are written in blue or black
ink on folded notepaper in ivory or white. If you choose, you can
have your married name or monogram embossed on the note. Something to
remember about married monograms is that these should not be used
until after the wedding. Use your maiden name on any pre-wedding
thank yous.
* Don't use preprinted note cards. A hand-written thank you is a
must.
* Take the time to make each note warm and personal. Remember the
giver spent time to pick out the perfect gift for you, they deserve
the same consideration with their thank you.
* Don't cross out words or misspellings. Messy ink blobs are a no-no.
Start over if you make a mistake (so be sure to order some extra note
cards).
Timing is Everything
* Notes for gifts received before the
wedding should be sent within two weeks of their arrival.
* Notes for gifts received on or after the wedding should be sent
within one month of returning from the honeymoon.
Get Organized First
* Keep a copy of your invitation mailing
list and record every gift you get, as you get it, next to the
giver's name. This insures that your thank-yous will be accurate and
you'll have the guest's address at your fingertips.
* It's also a good idea to put a check next to the giver's name when
you finish their note and write the date it was mailed.
* Set up a designated thank you note writing area in your home. Make
sure you have everything on hand to get started: pens, stamps, your
gift list and stationary.
* Give yourself a goal. Vow to write five or six thank you notes a
night and reward yourself with a small treat when you meet it. Any
excuse for chocolate, right?
* Your spouse isn't excused from helping. Both of you are responsible
for thanking your guests. Divvy up your list and get to work.
What to Write
* Always personalize the note by naming
the gift.
* If the gift was monetary, mention in your note how you plan to use
the money.
* If a gift is from a group (10 people or more), one written thank
you is acceptable, but be sure and thank them all verbally.
* Do offer gracious thanks for a gift that you don't care for and
don't mention that you plan to return it.
* While the etiquette mavens say to only sign one name to each note
and just mention your significant other, lots of couples these days
think it is nice to sign both names, especially if the thank you is
to mutual friends.
Thank you Examples
* Sample thank-you note for a cash
gift:
Dear Uncle Bob and Aunt Sally,
Thank you so much for your generous wedding gift. Sam and I are
saving for a new home and thanks to you, we're getting closer to our
goal. Again, many thanks for thinking of us and for sharing our
special day.
Love, Lucy
* Sample thank-you note for a gift chosen from your bridal
registry:
Dear Nathan and Molly,
Thank you so much for the china place setting. We now have a complete
set. Sam and I are looking forward to your next visit, when we can
enjoy dinner together. Thank you again for thinking of us at this
special time in our lives.
Warmest regards, Lucy
* Sample thank-you note for a gift you really didn't like:
Dear Chester and Winona,
Thank you for the ceramic fruit basket. You are both so thoughtful!
Every time we look at it, we will think of you and this special time
in our lives. Again, many thanks for sharing our joy.
Fondly, Lucy and Sam